Something so ridiculous happened to me this morning that I just had to do something about it.
But before I tell you what it is, I'd like to ask you a question. And I'm completely serious here.
But before I tell you what the question is, I'd like to ask men and women the same question separately. If that even makes sense. Men, you pick an answer from the choices below, and women, you pick an answer from the choices below. And let me know if you're a man or a woman.
And Judah Cohen, don't you dare answer two questions under your two different names, Judah and Judy. I will find out. I'm warning you, Judylicious.
If I see even ONE woman pick the same answer as I suspect the men will pick (#1, #3, or #4,) I will personally call you and yell at you.
Okay, now that I've laid out all of my warnings and requests, here is the big question:
WHAT DO YOU SEE IN THIS PICTURE?
Here, I'll give you a hint. In the plastic bag are some new light bulbs.
Your choices are:
1) A chair with light bulbs on it. No questions asked.
2) A chair with light bulbs on it for the purpose of putting them into the light fixture, thus enabling the slave in the kitchen (me) to be able to see what she's doing. In the kitchen. If that's even where she is, because it's so dark in the kitchen that she can't see well.
3) A chair with a yellow plastic bag on it that the kids must have put exactly beneath the light fixture in the kitchen that's so dark no one can tell it's actually a kitchen and not a dungeon. There are knives on the counter top, you know. Better put that chair back in the dining room before someone trips on it and triggers the flying knives and falling frying pans that are hidden in secret compartments in the ceiling.
4) A chair with something yellow on it. WHO PUT THIS CHAIR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN?? Better put it back in the dining room before someone trips on it because it's so dark in this kitchen no one can find the coffee maker.
Please post your answers in the comments below and I'll give you some great insights in man vs. woman nature. For the purposes of helping you with your marital peace. Yeah, that's it.
And if you can't figure out which answer David picked when he saw this chair waiting for him this morning in the kitchen, I'll give you a hint. It was either #1, #3, or #4.
In the meantime, stay tuned for my soon-to-be-released post on Harvey Weinstein, SCUM OF THE EARTH. Coming soon to a phone computer near you! Check back in a few hours when I'm awake and functioning on optimal brain power, aka caffeine. You might be sleeping at that time, but don't worry! My post will sit right here, waiting for you.
Until we meet again....